


Never entirely home

by alternate_me



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 25 Lives, Angst, M/M, Parallel Universes, Short, Stardust - Freeform, Timelines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-13
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 13:43:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1781179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alternate_me/pseuds/alternate_me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'll never be entirely home, because, you know, I’ve never belonged to humanity; I've belonged to you, and only to you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never entirely home

**Author's Note:**

> Currently I'm writing a longer story, and I'm _really_ trying to get it right, so I'm not hushing things that much, even because I'm not having that time to write as I'd like to. So it may take a while.  
>  While it's not finished, I'm writing short ones hahahhahaha This one is based on this [post](http://mishasminions.tumblr.com/post/86322697444), that is actually based on this [poem](http://s2b2.livejournal.com/142934.html).
> 
> After I've read those, I just couldn't help writing this.

I’ve looked for you in all parallel universes. And I’ve lost you in most of them.

Sometimes you would die at the hospital, after finding your dad; in others you never left Hell, I couldn’t get to you. I’ve seen you as Michael’s vessel, fighting and killing your brother, or being killed by him. Heaven or Hell would follow those dark times.

Then there were times when you ended up with Lisa, or even Cassie, and you could see your children growing up. There were circumstances when Azazel never showed up in that cursed night, when you’ve never been a hunter, and you were finally happy.

And then there were times when you didn’t exist, and the world would be sadder and painful without you there by my side. Although the worst ones were when we’ve never met, and even if you were happy, I would hate those times. I’d rather die in your arms - as I’ve done so many times - looking into your eyes. Sometimes I’d find the blue green staring back, bright with tears that fell on my face, as if they could heal death; in others it was the reckless black I’d meet, and there would be a blade covered in blood – my blood – lying beside you.

I’ve known a thousand Dean Winchesters, and I’ve fallen for all of them. I’ve loved every single version of you.

And finally there was this one. This unique time when both of our timelines fit perfectly, as if it was the rightest thing in the world, as leaves falling freely in the autumn, as rivers meeting the ocean. And even it being only once, it compensated all the deaths, all the suffering, all the other times when we lost ourselves. I was finally in your arms, the both of us humans. We’ve lived together for many years, we’ve aged together, and I’ll always thank you for all of that.

However, it doesn’t matter whether you’re human or not, one day, everything ends. Even angels are defeated; even gods are forgotten. The closure to every life - as it is of nature - is Death. And so Death came and took you first as I stood powerless by your side, holding your hand between mine.

Now I’m alone again. 

Lately, I’ve developed the habit of watching the night sky, because without you I miss home, I miss Heaven, and I know I can never go back. So I just look up and wait. I feel like Yvaine after losing Tristan, for I also stand there for hours and _"simply stare upward into the dark sky and watch, with sad eyes, the slow dance of the infinite stars”_. I’m human, but I’ll never be entirely home, because, you know, I’ve never belonged to humanity; I’ve belonged to you, and only to you.

Every night, as I close my eyes, I await for Him to come and take me too. I’m longing for my time to come, just so I can meet you in Heaven, our souls together again, for all eternity. 

But don’t think of me as helpless; don’t think of me with pity. I’m patient. Because it doesn’t matter where we are, or who we might be, I know I’ll always find a way to come back to you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys have enjoyed it.  
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
